Ex- England leader Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full consequences of the muscle-deteriorating condition that ended the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was a member of the World Cup champion 2003 side and won several English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast a fortnight after finding out he has the illness.
"There's a certain confronting what lies ahead and being reluctant to fully comprehend that at the moment," he stated.
"It isn't that I fail to comprehend where it's going. We understand that. But there is certainly a unwillingness to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, conversing alongside his wife Annie, explains rather he feels "peaceful" as he concentrates on his immediate health, his family and planning ahead for when the illness progresses.
"Perhaps that's shock or perhaps I deal with matters differently, and when I have the facts, it's easier," he added.
Initial Signs
Moody found out he had MND after observing some reduced power in his upper arm while working out in the gym.
After rehabilitation failed to improve the problem, a series of scans revealed neural pathways in his central nervous system had been affected by MND.
"You're presented with this condition identification of MND and we're rightly very moved about it, but it's so strange because I sense that everything is fine," he remarked.
"I don't experience sick. I don't sense sick
"My indications are rather minimal. I have a bit of muscle wasting in the fingers and the shoulder.
"I remain competent to accomplishing whatever I want. And optimistically that will persist for as long as is attainable."
Condition Advancement
MND can progress rapidly.
Based on the non-profit MND Association, the disease takes the lives of a third of people within a 365 days and over half within 730 days of detection, as eating and inhalation become more difficult.
Medical care can only retard deterioration.
"It's never me that I experience sorrow for," stated an moved Moody.
"It's the sorrow around having to tell my mum - as an single child - and the consequences that has for her."
Family Effect
Talking from the residence with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overcome with emotion when he discussed breaking the news to his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the traumatic news, saying: "That represented the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two wonderful boys and that was quite heartbreaking," Moody remarked.
"We were seated on the sofa in tears, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog jumped over and started cleaning the moisture off our faces, which was somewhat amusing."
Moody explained the emphasis was being in the present.
"We have no treatment and that is why you have to be very militantly focused on just embracing and enjoying all aspects now," he stated.
"As Annie said, we've been truly blessed that the sole determination I made when I retired from playing was to spend as much period with the kids as possible. We don't get those periods back."
Sportsman Link
Top-level competitors are unevenly affected by MND, with research proposing the prevalence of the disease is up to sixfold greater than in the general population.
It is believed that by reducing the oxygen accessible and causing harm to neural pathways, frequent, intense physical activity can trigger the disease in those already vulnerable.
Rugby Professional Life
Moody, who earned 71 England selections and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in honour of his brave, relentless approach to the game.
He participated through a fracture of his leg for a time with Leicester and once sparked a training-ground confrontation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he left a tackle pad and began throwing himself into tackles.
After coming on as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the rear of the throw-in in the crucial moment of play, establishing a platform for playmaker Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to score the victory-securing drop-goal.
Support Community
Moody has already informed Johnson, who led England to that victory, and a couple of other former colleagues about his condition, but the rest will be learning his news with the remainder of public.
"We'll have a time when we'll need to lean on their assistance but, at the moment, just having that type of love and acceptance that people are present is all that matters," he commented.
"Rugby is such a wonderful group.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even when it finished now, I've valued all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"Being able to consider your love your profession, it's one of the most important blessings.
"Having accomplished it for so long a duration with the teams that I did it with was a joy. And I am aware they will desire to help in whatever way they can and I look forward to having those discussions."
